By Meshell Baylor, MHS
"It is when we are in transition that we are most completely alive." -- William Bridges
As the new school year begins, we are filled with hopes and aspirations for our exceptional children. Transition can be a concern for many parents, but as we step into a new elementary, middle, or high school, it's crucial to establish new relationships with the school staff. Our students, who are governed by the Free Appropriate Public Education Act (IDEA), benefit greatly when we, as parents, actively engage in their school's activities. According to the National Center for Education, 78% of students thrive when their parents are involved. This involvement can take many forms, from attending the PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) meetings to coordinating coffee with the principal and volunteering. Your active participation not only supports your child's education but also fosters a sense of community within the school.
Starting a new transition can feel awkward, but learning how to build those communication goals for yourself and your child can make a huge impact. As a mother of three exceptional children, I was very nervous when the new school year began. I contemplated homeschooling, curious if the staff or teacher knew how to address my child's unique needs or if they knew what to do if the child had a meltdown. I recently spoke to a panel of mothers who told me their biggest fear was whether their children were safe. Panic can be one of the feelings every parent experiences. Here are some common questions from parents:
Does the school know my child elopes?
Do they know how to work with children with special needs?
Will they comprehend my child is sensitive?
Do they realize my child has diet restrictions?
Is there a protocol in place if they are short-staffed?
As much as the list of uncertainties can go on and on, there is so much that a parent can worry about. In this pivotal moment, we can retrieve those answers and establish a support system by collaborating with the school. When my children were attending elementary school, I joined their available groups. I remember putting on the yellow vest and assisting with parent parking to get to know the staff who work on the street and playground. New transitions can easily put you into a headspace where you consistently wonder where you fit in with serving. However, by actively engaging with the school, we can alleviate these worries and foster a sense of community. Here are some helpful tips:
Join the PTA (Parent Teacher Association) or PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) In today's world, these organizations are seeking out parents like you to help them understand what it is to raise an exceptional child in a public or private school setting. Utilize this opportunity to make it your platform.
Attend parent meetings If there is something you do not know about that needs to be included for exceptional students, be that voice.
Attend Coffee with the Principal Seize the moment to get up close and personal with your principal and vice principal at the coffee meeting, talk to them about inclusion, and ask them to be a part of your child's support system.
Make friends Your child needs to learn to make friends at school, and so do you. Please introduce yourself to new parents, establish a support system, and plan mommy-and-me dates. The biggest flex is feeling confident that if you cannot volunteer that day at school, you know which mom is there advocating and looking out for your child.
Volunteer The school will always need a parent like you to help with fundraisers, bake sales, and playground activities. The children at the school will even become familiar with you as the cool parent.
Establish programs If no clubs or programs exist for parents with special needs children or parents, create one. Talk to the principal about the challenges of transition, establish a support system, and tell them there needs to be an inclusion program.
Join a committee Whether you're a committee member, a board member, or a parent chair, take the opportunity to become the leader you were born to be. To impact change, you must stand up and take a chance.
Transitions are never easy, but they incorporate a sense of strength you never knew you had. When you parent an exceptional child, you want them to have support and feel included and accepted. This journey will require you to step out of your comfort zone and move toward a position of leadership not only for your child but also for yourself.
As a parent of three exceptional children, I sometimes had to become the voice for my children and other families when they did not feel ready to speak up. At that moment, I learned what advocacy truly is and how every transition signifies growth and responsibility. So, as you begin a new school year filled with so many possibilities, remember that transitions help you network with new individuals, connect with outside agencies and communities, and, most importantly, help your child build a support system.
Reference Parent and Family Involvement in Education, from the National Household Education Surveys Program https://www.air.org/resource/report/parent-and-family-involvement-education-national-household-education
Meshell Baylor, MHS, is a mother of four children—two of whom are on the autism spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and advocate in the Los Angeles area. She has a bachelor’s degree in human services from Springfield College and a Master's Degree in Human and Social Services. Meshell continues to volunteer and give within her local area while serving the special needs community.
Instagram: instagram.com/imalittlebigb
Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities snnla.org/c-a-d-d/
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