By Karen Kaplan, MS
Have you taught your teenager or young adult with different abilities about the social rules associated with some regular daily happenings? Do they know about door openings? Do they know about gratuity? What do they know about supporting someone who drops something in front of them?
What is the etiquette for opening someone’s door?
Be aware of your surroundings; if you see someone struggling to open a door, you might help. If you see someone carrying a great many packages, you may want to help open a door. Maybe a mom is pushing a stroller and needs some help. Be sure to check how the door swings open. If you are with one group of people or another and you reach the door first, it is often kind and considerate for you to hold the door open for them before you release it and are on your way. If someone has the door for you, be sure to show kindness and say thank you. Just remember opening or holding the door is about kindness and respect.
What to do if someone drops something.
When someone drops something in front of you, you might think about these steps: First, wait and see if the person truly needs help. Then, you might offer your help. You might say, “Are you OK, or do you need some help?” When they smile or say, “Please,” then proceed.
What about tipping?
A tip, or gratuity, is a small amount of money given voluntarily as a sign of appreciation for a service. That service might be an Uber ride, waiter, waitress, or even your barber or hairdresser. We tip our servers as a way of thanking them for good service. We might also leave a very low or no tip, indicating that the service was not satisfying. For some people, tipping is a way of ensuring continued good service. For example, if you go to the same hairdresser every month, you probably want to keep him or her happy by tipping them well, usually 15 to 20 percent.
Travel Tips
Skycap: $2 first bag and perhaps 1$ for additional
Housekeeper: $2 to $5 per day
Taxi Drive: 15-20%
Restaurants:
Waiters: 15 to 20%
Delivery Tip: 10-15%
Bartender: 2 dollars per drink
Salon/Spa Tips:
Hair 15 to 20%
Manicurist 15 to 20%
Facial/Massage 15-20%
What if a public bathroom runs out of soap, paper towels, or toilet paper?
When you are in a public restroom, let the appropriate person (like a bathroom attendant or restaurant manager) know if something needs to be replaced.
There are many social skills for our teens and young adults to learn. Begin early. Model. Please do not assume they know the proper steps in all social situations. Teach. Please encourage them to complete the steps themselves.
Resources:
Amazon.com: Teaching Social Skills to Youth, 4th Edition: 9781944882976: Jeff Tierney, M.Ed., Erin Green, MS: Books
Social Skills Training: for Children & Adolescents with Autism & Social-Communication Differences: Baker PhD, Jed: 9781957984223: Amazon.com: Books
The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate (The Social Justice Handbook Series): Kemp MPsych, Jennifer, Mitchelson MPsych, Monique, Wise, Sonny Jane: 9781648483073: Amazon.com: Books
Amazon.com: Social Skills for Teenagers with Developmental and Autism Spectrum Disorders: The PEERS Treatment Manual: 9780415872034: Laugeson, Elizabeth A.: Books
Karen Kaplan, MS, is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona, in speech pathology and audiology. She minored in special education and obtained her speech therapist and special education credentials in California. Karen worked as a speech therapist for schools for 20 years before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis and spent 20 years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges.
Karen founded a non-profit, Offerings, which helps cultures globally to understand those with developmental challenges. For seven years, she founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair in Northern California. Karen still facilitates an annual Autism Awesomeness event. She is currently consulting, helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. Karen has authored three books: Reach Me Teach Me: A Public School Program for the Autistic Child; A Handbook for Teachers and Administrators, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, and Typewriting to Heaven… and Back: Conversations with My Dad on Death, Afterlife and Living (which is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love).
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