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amykdtobik2
Jan 74 min read

Why Does My Special Needs Child Suddenly Not Want to Go to School?

Updated: Jan 8



By Karen Kaplan, MS

Recently, I have been talking with several motheres who have become very concerned, as their children are no longer motivated to go to school. It appears that for a while, everything was going well, and then agitation, frustration, and anxiety appeared. They are stuck and refuse to go, making it very stressful for parents.


So, I think we just need to take some time and put on the Sherlock Holmes detective hat and find out, how come, why?


Parents, teachers, administrators, questions you might ask:

  1. What has changed at home or at school?

  2. What circumstances are different at home or school?

  3. Are there any medical or dental challenges? Has their vision and hearing been checked recently?

  4. Are there any sleep challenges?

  5. Has transportation changed?

  6. Have schools changed?

  7. Has the teacher changed?

  8. Have the classroom(s) environments been altered?

  9. Have there been any bullying incidents in school?

  10. Have their friends left the school?

  11. Has the level of expectation changed? Has the curriculum changed?

  12. Is organizing and planning tougher now?  Kids on the spectrum can have executive functioning challenges. Speech and occupational therapists may need to write goals to address these challenges.

  13. Are more transitions being implemented without support at home or school?


Are all supports listed on the Individualized Education Program?

1.       Are the IEP or ITP being implemented? Do additional ones need to be considered?

2.       If on medication, has it been assessed for effectiveness?


Actions you may choose to take:

  1. Parents schedule a face-to-face meeting with the teacher to help you answer the questions above.

  2. Find time to sit with your child and work on determining what is truly affecting their return to school.

  3. Perhaps rephrase some of the questions above:


  1. Did something hard happen at school? (who, what, where, why, when, how)

  2. Did something change that you were not prepared for?

  3. How are you feeling (head to toe)?  Bathroom issues.  Stomach issues.

  4. Are there things you do not understand how to do in school?

  5. Are you too shy to ask for help?

  6. Is someone mean or unkind to you?

  7. Is there something you are afraid of at school?

  8. Did Mommy or Daddy say something or do something to make you worry?

  9. Has your brother or sister said something or done something?

  10. Did you see something on the computer or your phone?


Write a request for an IEP (individual education planning meeting) and bring concerns to the team.

  • Request that some new observations be made by designated service providers (occupational therapist, speech-language pathologist, psychologist, vision specialist)

  • Request that some additional evaluations be completed. Perhaps there are more or different sensory challenges or motor planning challenges now occurring. Perhaps there are some communication comprehension challenges now occurring. Maybe different social situations are happening, and the student does not know how to handle them. New assistive technology supports are needed, or alternative communication systems are implemented to enhance better communication.

  • Find out what transitioning plans are for entering school, changing classrooms or learning environments, departing from school, and using the bathroom, lunchroom, and recess.


We all get stuck at some time in our lives.  When unfamiliar situations appear, we might hesitate or become anxious, thus limiting new and different actions and activities. Sometimes, the system just says, oh, a child is just on the spectrum and will just have to move through this. We often know that those on the spectrum have a more intense range of emotions, so we must wear our detective hats. We must also consider that sometimes teachers are not experienced enough to implement or develop supports that might help.  Sometimes, districts are unable to provide the support needed.  Sometimes, we just do not take the time to truly uncover the why.  All children have a right to an appropriate education, one they want to engage in and are successful in.

 

Resources

Parents and carers: What can I do if my child doesn’t want to attend school?


Karen Kaplan, MS, is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona, in speech pathology and audiology. She minored in special education and obtained her speech therapist and special education credentials in California. Karen worked as a speech therapist for schools for 20 years before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis and spent 20 years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges.

 

Karen founded a non-profit, Offerings, which helps cultures globally to understand those with developmental challenges. For seven years, she founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair in Northern California. Karen still facilitates an annual Autism Awesomeness event. She is currently consulting, helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. Karen has authored three books: Reach Me Teach Me: A Public School Program for the Autistic Child; A Handbook for Teachers and Administrators, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, and Typewriting to Heaven… and Back: Conversations with My Dad on Death, Afterlife and Living  (which is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love).

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